The Bitch Is Back

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At the beginning of March i wrote a blog trying to remember my first day at work as a woman,it was done in a humorous way and hopefully made people smile even laugh at some of the things that were in that blog,looking back to that very first day the one constant was how confident i was and everything was so natural and easy for me although the cold wind getting through my thick tights and making my legs feel even colder than it was is not the nicest feeling ever,but it didn't dampen my spirits or my confidence and loved every second of my first day my sister Janette telling me now i know how it feels to be a woman and making even the not so good feel right and natural.

Yes that was just over a year ago and many things have changed since that first day,the biggest change has to be ME,the changes are not just in appearance or physical,there have been so many ups countless firsts even a few downs but i am still here and still fighting and will continue to be the strong wonderful woman i have become over the last 12 months since that first day,i am positive that there will be days when things go wrong days when i will struggle and days when i will have to summon the strength and courage i know is inside me and has always been inside me even when at times i have forgotten its there,the downside has always been i am too hard on myself and should stop and change that,turn a negative into a positive and instead of being so hard with myself remind Me of just how far i have come in such a short space of time,there were many negatives i went through last year alone but i managed to switch them around and turn them into positives and i really need to remind myself anything is possible once i put my mind to it.

As anyone that will read this blog will know i am not the only woman going through the transition and i know there are many others that are transitioning whether they are a man or a woman,we are all at different stages of our own individual transition and have our very own personal experiences some will be very good and some will be not so good,i don't want to dwell on the not so good but concentrate on the good and yes the very good even better the amazing experiences and the truly wonderful people that have helped in one way or another,i have mentioned most of the brilliant true friends before like Kim,Naseem,Tamara,maariyah and Sean and they help me stay strong but also I just need some time to sort my head out and some time for me when i am being hard with myself,that is something i have to learn and hope will do that sooner rather than later,I also know i can't compare where i am in my transition with where other people are we are all at different stages and all i can do is learn from everyone who has been through everything i am now going through and maybe one day be able to pass my experiences on to everyone that will go through their own transition and knowing that there is always someone there to talk to or someone there can be more than enough.

My strength comes from within i need to start remembering that and use that when i have a bad time or when i am struggling,i hope that any of my friends know that if ever they want someone to talk to then i am always willing to listen and will always be there for any of my friends when ever they need me,i am beginning to open up with most of my friends and it is something i am learning to do even if it is slowly but to just trust someone i don't know is asking far too much,the trust will come in time for me and for my friends i am getting to know but i am also very lucky and truly blessed to have the most amazing wonderful brilliant loving friends i have,they are my rock when i am struggling and don't have to say anything to Kim as know as soon as we meet my confidence is back and where i want it to be and that's without Kim saying or doing anything,there are other friends who will kick me up backside when i need and sometimes even deserve it and as i said before Yes i am Truly Blessed to have the most amazing friends ever 

Lots of Love 
Angie 
xxxxxxxxxxxxxx 

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