My Transition

Its been awhile since my last blog so here is an update on everything that has happened for me since my last blog. In August i got my official diagnosis from the gender service and a care plan with John as long as i keep doing the same things aand moving forward then everything will work out right,the hardest part for me has to be being patient as i know everything takes time and there are no shortcuts,thankfully i have already come further than even i thought i would have done in such a short time as its just gone 2 years since i came out to myself and then started to plan how to do the things i knew i had to do from legally changing my name to being honest with myself,my family and my friends.                                                                                                                                                                                                         My biggest fear was always being alone once i started my transition but thankfully i have been

I was going to write this blog very differently, it was going to start with a negative piece on a so called friend who has let me down over and over but as I was thinking about what to write it started to develop into something that I hadn't realized,my thoughts were turning the negatives into positives and the more I delved into so many things that have happened in the last few months there was a pattern that I started to see, I am a lot more positive than I ever thought I could or would be especially being so shy and having little confidence in my younger days to how I am now,yes I am confident and not as shy as I was and  I have come out of my shell over the last 18 months,I smile so much more than I have ever smiled and at times I have a cheeky glint in my eyes I have even had so many comments and compliments that lift a not so good day into a wonderful day the smallest compliment works wonders. My lovely friend Tamara shared my last blog and she was included in the last blog

The last blog I wrote was just after starting at the gender identity service in Leeds and didn't really go into too much detail about anything that was discussed with me during my appointments so here is more details on my initial assessment at the gender identity service,that was more to do with all the information I had been given and trying hard to work through so much that writing about it was not possible at that's time but now I can finally put the details in this blog. My appointment was with a lovely man called Gerry and should have gone through everything with him in the hour we had but as we had chatted and had a few laughs Gerry had to make another appointment for 2 weeks later and he went through everything with me during that second appointment,there will be more laser hair removal treatment in the coming weeks and months,the hormone therapy will be overseen by the gender service and prescriptions will be issued through my GP which will be better for me as will h

good afternoon ladies and gentleman and thank you for taking time to read my blogs To start with there is some very good news, Here goes I have now started at the gender service in Leeds i had my first assesment a couple of weeks ago and have another appointment on thursday this week, and i'm so excited to finaly be able to say i am now where i want to be having tried to wait as patiently as i can even when i get a letter through saying it will be 4 years  to be seen at the gender service. Even after my first appointment it still took me a few days for everything to sink in properly, and can honestly say that it was a very emotional day for me, Yes i couldn't stay in after my appointment and spent most of the day driving around keeping myself busy,the phone call i made to my lovely friend Kim was one of the hardest phone calls i have ever made but that's more to do with being very emotional and trying my best not to cry whilst on the phone was quite difficult but i mana

At the beginning of March i wrote a blog trying to remember my first day at work as a woman,it was done in a humorous way and hopefully made people smile even laugh at some of the things that were in that blog,looking back to that very first day the one constant was how confident i was and everything was so natural and easy for me although the cold wind getting through my thick tights and making my legs feel even colder than it was is not the nicest feeling ever,but it didn't dampen my spirits or my confidence and loved every second of my first day my sister Janette telling me now i know how it feels to be a woman and making even the not so good feel right and natural. Yes that was just over a year ago and many things have changed since that first day,the biggest change has to be ME,the changes are not just in appearance or physical,there have been so many ups countless firsts even a few downs but i am still here and still fighting and will continue to be the strong wonderful w

OMG  Is it only 5 days till my birthday,this year will be a very positive and happy time i am so looking forward to celebrating my birthday maybe that's simply because i am 50 or maybe cos i am finally happier than i have ever been before in my life now i am the woman i was born to be,and i am being my true self,yes its taken longer than some people but i finally got here and moving forward in life,i will not say every day is easy as there are days when i struggle with little things but i have learnt to do things differently,and i also know that i have some truly amazing friends who are with me every step of the way on my journey into womanhood,i keep receiving so many compliments and positive comments on many things which boosts my confidence and i do need to keep pushing myself and keep up all the good things i have done in the last 12 months. My friend Naseem complimented me on being helpful and wanting to help others whether that's through my blogs,biography or just off

DAY............  Wednesday DATE..........   02 March 2016 TIME..........    04:20 AM  WHAT DOES THE O STAND FOR....... Oh My God Its Too Early,Can I Go Back To Bed Please PLACE........   Leeds West Yorkshire ANY NERVES......... No None At All WHY NOT NERVOUS...... I Am Not Sure,Nothing To Be Nervous About Really SERIOUSLY YOU MUST HAVE BEEN NERVOUS............ No I Wasn't At All  WEATHER..... Windy and Cold,Cold.Cold......... Its bloody Freezing. SEASON........  Feels Like Winter, Its Meant To Be Spring Ain't It ACTION.........  Changing Battery On Car  REASON........  Car Wouldn't Start and Needed To Get To Work APPEARANCE........ Hair Done,Make Up On Nice Skirt,Shirt Thick Tights,Boots And Coat DIFFICULTY...... Changing Battery With Hair Blowing In My Eyes,And Still Dark  NERVOUS........ For Some Reason NO  ON TIME........ YES Thankfully  FIRST DAY AT WORK AS A WOMAN....... Yes It Was NOT NERVOUS ? ..... No Not Nervous REALLY ?.............

Guess what.....i went out drinking in Leeds friday night,yes i was flirting with other girls during the night but i also got to meet my friend Tamara Lea who's birthday we were celebrating that night,i was lucky to meet some of Tamara's friends who were out that night and it turned into a great night out even a boost to my confidence which has been growing lately thanks mainly to my friends like Tee,and Sean at the snooker centre who i have surprised in a nice positive way although now he thinks i am catty but i only do and say things in fun and try have a laugh with Sean just a shame he is a Leeds fan i just won't hold that against him as i can be surrounded by Leeds fans,at least i can boast as we have beaten them twice this year and more than happy being higher in the League than Leeds. Now my confidence is growing again it is making a difference to so many things,my sense of humour has come back and i am as cheeky as i ever was never in a nasty way and always done i

Am not sure why people can be so hurtful but also why they believe it's acceptable,yet are more than happy with you when you are in front of them,that's a lesson i have learned and trying not to let it get to me that someone seems to think it's more than ok to be nasty,guess what it's their problem not mine. My confidence is growing most days and that is in some way down to the amazing friends i have who are restoring my faith in me,since the beginning of this year my best friend Kim said i should write sayings on my walls to remind of different things and to keep me strong in mind, body and soul,if truth be known i was starting to become a little lazy in certain ways not always doing make up or my hair on, regardless of how i looked i never stopped being or knowing i was a woman and was not doing anything different to every other woman who have days when they dress down,for me i love wearing make up and having my hair on and wearing skirts and dresses i am a true gir

I have been co-writing a biography with one of my best friends Andrew Milner who has had some books published and knows how to tell a story alot better than me,Andrew is writing the story from my notes i have sent him but also from some memories we shared as we grew up together and spent many years very close in many ways. It has given me a chance to remember so many things that have happened during the last 49 years of my life that i can't change some very good even happy experiences and some the exact opposite,the one thing it has given me is the chance to go back in time and try to work out so many things and answer some of the questions i have been asked but also questions i have been asking myself. My sister Janette said something last year that i never knew and will try and quote verbatim what Janette said.... she said that she had known for years that i was Transgender and should have been a woman but it wasn't upto her to say anything and i would work everything out fo

I have been debating for the last few days on what my next blog should be about and whether to start doing a more daily or weekly blog like a diary version but online,and will leave that up for discussion as for now personally will write as and when but as have been ill for most of the week and finally starting to feel like a human being again,i am now up for writing this blog. I have to say that as important as it is to hopefully change how people perceive anyone that is trans and living in the gender they should have been born in,i know from personal experience that i also should think or start to think differently and not just assume or expect the worst when i get so many surprises from so many different people who may only meet me the once,there are times when i need to change how i think instead of expecting the worst just go with it hold my head high and smile,i got in a lift a couple of weeks ago quite late and was after midnight and there was someone in the lift who i didn

Monday 6th February so far has been a very good day and more positive than i ever thought it would be,blood test results my Testosterone level is at 2 thanks to medication i have been taking since May 18th last year but they forgot to test my oestrogen level and have to go back for another blood test on Thursday this week,i am feeling very happy with results i have got today and believe oestrogen level will be higher than 360 from the last round of blood tests i had done last June. I have had laser hair removal treatment today at Arden Clinic based at woodroyd surgery in Bradford and since the first time i went just under 3 weeks ago the treatment has been a little strange as really didn't know what to expect or what it involved,i can say with complete honesty Naseem Shah has been brilliant with me,she has been patient and it has not just been in have treatment and out,Naseem has taken time to talk to me and ask me questions maybe in some way i have helped her learn something not

I saw some pictures of myself this evening some were only taken last year in April and May and i cant believe how much i have changed, I look so different and that is not even a year ago yet i am looking younger and better than i have ever looked in my life,Yes i am also feeling so much happier than i ever thought possible I received a comment on some pictures i posted about 4 months ago from my friend Lacey who said i was developing nicely especially in my face and at the time i wasn't sure that anything had changed,but i can now see for myself how i am developing into the woman i have always been,Yes i have always been a woman i have tried for too many years to be someone i was never meant to be and that for me took something an experience i would never wish on my worst enemy to go through and one i know i will never go through ever again but it took that shock for me to realise i didn't want to live a lie or pretend to be someone i was never ever meant to be. When i star

I have known Kim for over 10 years now but its only been the last year that everything has changed between Kim and me,when we met for the first time in Leeds last year i can honestly say i didn't know what to expect of the trip to Leeds and Kim was meeting the real me for the very first time, yes Kim knew about nearly everything but didn't know i was born in the wrong body and should have been a woman from birth,it made no difference to Kim from the first moment we met Kim addressed me as Angie or Ang i was a woman to her and that has not changed one bit in the last year,yes i was a tad late well........ nearly half hour if i'm being honest as it took longer to get organised than i thought it would but i will never forget Kim telling me she thought i was so brave, although i'm still never really sure why Kim thought i was being brave but she sees something i don't,i am pleased to hear such lovely words from my lovely friend Kim is very intuitive even now Kim tells m

my transition has not always been positive,yes there have been times when I've had stares from people when I've gone shopping or around town but I'm strong enough to not let it affect me or knock my confidence,the great thing about my confidence is it gets stronger every day,my problem is I may be getting a little lazy but that will change in the coming weeks. This year is a big year for me and my twin Kim and not just with turning 50 but with other things like  the goals we are setting ourselves to do i suppose it's our bucket list for the next 12 months and hopefully a new career direction as well. I have learnt so much in the last 12 months and got to know I've helped others in more ways than I knew I had and have been so pleased to know how much I've helped and changed other people's lives as much as my own that it has opened my eyes to the real possibility of being an advocate in some form for a career,I love being asked questions that I can answer and

hello again it's been a while since my last blog and there have been some changes for the better,I can now start to think more positive about the new year and all the wonderful things I can look forward to. There were times last year when it was emotionally draining and shed my fair share of tears,and yes even hurt and upset with the untruths that were being said but the truth will always come out and thankfully there are so many amazing people who I truly call my friends. To Kim you are my rock you kept me strong when at times I weren't I tried to put a brave face on and not show how I was feeling but I doubt I fooled you at all,our trips out helped more than you could possibly know,you read the statements and saw what was being said which was untrue. I can never say thank you enough but I hope you know how amazing you are and how you helped me with everything. My other friends believed in me even when I started to have doubts even if they were fleeting there were times when