My Transition

Since I started my transition and even before that maybe even last December,when the counsellor I went to see told me she would refer me to the gender clinic if I wanted her to, made me finally stop and think about who I really was inside or more to the point accept who I was and stop running away or hiding even worse pretending to be someone I wasn't and was never comfortable or happy trying to be. It's hard to put in to words or describe that light bulb moment, when faced with the truth everything makes sense the pieces starting fitting together perfectly in a way they had never done before..... yes it's true I have always known deep down inside that I should be a woman and but finally freeing myself to be the real true me who I have always been...... yes there were obvious signs which I truly did my best to try and hide......just over 20 years I made friends with a neighbour who I found out,had warned my then partner to be careful as I was gay in her words,when I asked...

I will never be able to express my gratitude to the people who keep surprising me, a couple of my neighbours have totally surprised me even today a neighbour asked me how he should address me and what to call me now so i introduced myself as Angie his response was unexpected I was told he  admired me and shook my hand,another neighbour who had seen me coming and going asked me questions and was genuinely interested, i may not saying everyone will always be as positive towards me but whilst I am getting such positive messages of support I will never complain or underestimate what their words mean to me, how can I lose faith in people when people show me such support I was taken by surprise by being told I was admired it was touching and as I can be a little emotional at times it shows how much their words mean. I have been pleasantly surprised by so many people since starting my transition and that is over 8 months ago now being told I am brave by Kim and Pat is still something I c...

I have asked my friends what topics or subjects they would like me to write about in my blogs,yes i will write a blog about friends maybe later this week and I will name names so you know who you are, this blog is about my sexuality and whether anything has changed since I began my transition or now I am on hormone therapy In my previous life I would have been described as straight or heterosexual until I was in my early 20's when I experimented and once Angie had been named and born then possibly would say I was bisexual but I never wanted a relationship with a man I was never attracted to men in that way and found it hard talking or even being myself around men I was a lot more comfortable around other girls, but I was even back then very feminine with my mannerisms and could open up and just be myself around other women that I could never do with men I always had more friends that were women than men...... Now I live full time as a woman and I am on hormone therapy my sexual...

 I have been pleasantly surprised by the amount of how many positive comments and compliments I have received so so many lovely comments and compliments since I came out and started my transition whether that was in the very early days or even now in the last few days, I am also sure I have shocked and surprised some friends who never knew anything about how I really felt or who I knew I have always been inside having tried my best to hide the real me for such a long time, I am  also sure that the reactions of certain people who didn't understand or interested to know why made me keep everything inside longer than I should have and made me feel unsure not only who to talk to but how to talk and be honest about how truly felt, that was then and quite a few years ago thankfully there has been so many changes in the last few years that people are more knowledgable and understanding now that does make a huge difference and the comments and compliments I have received never stop ma...

since I came out I have received so much support and positive feedback but I know not everyone is happy for me or as supportive as I would have thought my biological mum can be so opposite at times she has called me it she has even called me by a male name which I correct her everytime I hear it but in her eyes she still thinks of me as her son to my face but to others she introduces me as her daughter Angela it does sometimes depend on her mood even worse if it's too hot as she can't cope if it's too hot and she gets very agitated......I do stay away from my biological mum at times as I really don't need the abuse I get and shouldn't have to put up with it but I won't accept any abuse from family even reporting my nephew to police for calling me a freak I still don't know why he called me such a name but I hope the police knocking on his door made him think twice about what he said......it doesn't distract me the abuse makes me stand up for myself and d...

The best thing about writing my blog is that it gives me something to think about and what I want to write about this next blog is about the last 25 years of trying to come to terms with how my hair has receded and how it was for me to deal with hair loss and how that made me feel. I started losing my hair when I was roughly 23/24 years old maybe one to many perms or having my hair bleached regularly didn't help but that was the fashion back in the mid to late 80's the decade fashion forgot and that went with hairstyles as well,looking back to that time the one thing I do remember is that my dad's hairstyle never changed he always had the same thing every day even till his dying day he had more hair than me,I began noticing my hair receding a little when I was in my early 20's long before I had accepted who I truly was, although I hadn't lost so much I knew I was still kinda lucky as a couple of friends Rick and Anthony had lost a lot more than me and I can honestl...

This is a very important issue that needs to be talked about and will also detail how my experience was when I came out....... My honest opinion will always be the same its all down to the individual about how and when they come out especially as being transgender although I am not over keen on the label of trans-woman I am also proud to be a trans-woman and will always support help and be there for anyone who is trans and I am blessed that I have friends who ask me for advice but I digress again..... When someone comes out it should always be when they are ready to tell people especially family and friends but there is always a possibility that some won't be as accepting as we had wanted or hoped,that's the time when we have the chance to openly discuss everything with the people that care I am not sure we will ever have total acceptance yet when it comes to family and friends we should give them time to come to terms with coming out to them and be ready to answer any questio...

I went to the big Leeds swish today at MesMac and really glad I did,I nearly didn't go but I got myself ready and went and had a great time I met some lovely people there and have made some new friends,I even got a make over and thanks to drew I looked stunning and loved how she did my eyes they sparkled now I just wish I had hair as long as hers,I looked so different and shows once have learnt new techniques and tricks,I really do need to learn how to contour and use bronzers.....I also hope after chatting with LJ I can go on a course to learn the skills I need to do advocacy I know that's where my heart is I want to do more to help others going thru similar things that I have gone thru and show them they are not alone and there are and is always someone there that can and will help in what ever way possible even if that's just a simple message asking how they are I would love to do more than I am doing right now but with the help of Angie's advice page and other pages...

I have been thinking and discussing with a couple of my best friends this afternoon and it's now time to put the idea out there on how we can change how things work for anyone that is diagnosed as gender dysphoria..... Instead of referring people to gender identity clinics why can't the clinics come to GP's surgeries have a specialist counsellor to keep in regular contact with patients but the original GD diagnosis be done by the specialist counsellor and GP together and then allowing the GP's to issue scripts for hormone therapy without the need to go to a GIC and reduce waiting times and save the NHS money the diagnosis and treatment could be done by both the GP and counsellor together along with the patient who is kept in the loop at all times and kept upto date with how things are progressing....as a result the GP can arrange regular blood tests to check on the hormone therapy and hormone levels and eat with any problems that could arise like reactions to medicatio...

Another interesting day today,got a lovely reply to my post last night and has given me something to think about,I have never thought about applying for certain jobs I am not qualified to do and have no experience in,I've never worked in a call centre but I have experience of customer service that's a big part of being a bus driver, and a knowledge of hotels and addresses around Leeds to help people who are visiting is a bonus but being as helpful as possible,pleasant, nice smile, and friendly attitude makes a difference as well, even more so when people are visiting for the first time and don't know their way around,which has given me experience of dealing with people either face to face or over the phone as in previous jobs I have done and was/is something I am very good at always trying to be as helpful as possible.......the job fair today was a little disappointing not that many companies there and most seemed to be in same area like care work hospital staff and retail ...

I have come so far in the last 12 months,I have to pinch myself to believe it's all true am not sure you could make this up if you tried,yes I am happier than I have ever been and have so many people to say a massive thank you to,I hope I will get the chance to say thank you to all the lovely friends who have been so wonderful and supportive. Unfortunately there is still so much discrimination about that there is still so much work to do we cant stop helping,teaching,explaining and answering the questions we get asked,maybe the reason why I am not getting any work thru agencies right now is because I am trans but that does not stop me from being a hard worker or reliable and honest that should be a positive for any agency knowing you can be who you are without any problems. Now I hope that I will start getting work again and earning a decent wage to support myself and help with my transition.

I am now starting my 5th month on hormone therapy and my transition is going quite well,not sure I will ever get used to stomach cramps but they are not so bad uncomfortable but not so painful maybe I will be lucky and they won't get any worse,I am developing into the woman I should be and very happy with how I am becoming a woman and now the HRT is kicking in even more and there has been some pleasant surprises over last couple of weeks.