My Transition

It has now been over 3 years since i started my transition and i have come along way in the last 3 years that even now i pinch myself and not sure where the time has gone but also look back and see how much i have changed in so many ways, the changes aren't just physical either which i have not thought too much about and let the hormone therapy do what its meant to do that i have been more patient than ever in life and was never known for being patient with anything as anyone that really knows me will testify to. The last 12 months have seen some of the more obvious changes which i knew about with the information i was given when i started,with the hormone therapy i am on everything happens at its own speed and not expecting too much too quick it is not a miracle cure and they take time to work,changing my testosterone blocker from a tablet taken every day to an injection done by a nurse at my GP's every 12 weeks has meant i don't have to remember take a tablet or try to th...

My last blog was nearly 6 months ago and quite alot has happened which i will write about in the coming weeks as for my latest blog it will be a look back at what has happened over the last few months and hopefully will be humorous in places too. I suppose i should start with the downside to the last few months my biological family seem to have turned full circle again and seem less than interested in anything that i have gone thru whether that was the news from the gender service back in April or being assaulted whilst being burgled and on the phone to the police at same time none of my family made any effort to contact whilst in A&E or when i got home or even in the coming days not one single to phone call to ask if was ok or if needed anything that answers my question if i needed it to be answered as for my nephew he keeps referring to me as an it he seems to think that's acceptable he has also convinced Dorothy yo refer to me as it too hope they realise Karma is a bitch. ...

Its hard to believe how much life has changed in the last 3 or 4 years,thinking back to where i was in 2015 to where i am today in 2019 even i sometimes think i am dreaming but its not a dream its real and so much has changed for the better,one of the scariest things is taking that first step convincing yourself you will have no friends no family and everyone that knows you will turn their back on you and you will be alone couldn't be further from the truth ever if anything i have more true friends now than i ever had and most of my family haven't turned their back on me at all,i am not saying it's perfect but it never was but i can say it is a work in progress and even though i know how big a step i have taken and come to terms with the truth for some people it takes a little longer to the point where you have to be patient with them and have faith that it will work out right in the end. There are times when i am misgendered and called sir or Mr especially when i am on the...

After what seems longer than it has been I now have some news that has given me something to look forward to and found out what has happened since my last appointment at the gender service back in May when I went through the GRC,the waiting time for my second referral for surgery should have been roughly 6 months but with having heard nothing in the last few months I was beginning to wonder what the delay was so the delay is down to only having one doctor to do referrals at the minute and new doctors being trained which takes time and the latest information I have is that I should get to see a doctor for my second referral in March/April/May next year knowing I have more of an idea of when I am likely to be seen by the second doctor makes a huge difference and has changed my thinking into a positive and not wondering why I haven't been seen yet. The last lead at the gender service has now left and there is a new lead named Kath and she is lovely,I met her for the first time just ...

Where to start right.......... Firstly i want to clarify the difference between gender and sexuality, my gender is female i identify as a woman and everyone who knows me only sees me as a woman who they know as Angie or Ang and they all call me Angie or Ang my gender identity is as a woman, my sexuality is who i am attracted to and for me that is other women which now makes me a lesbian, i am not attracted to men and don't want to be with a man i only want to be with a woman and hope one day i will meet a special woman who will accept me for who i am. A friend of mine said to me a couple of days i should have reminded her or said something which made me think, i am not the kind of woman who would say something but that's how i am maybe when we have known each other longer then yes i will be more comfortable and will say something but for now i am still a little shy, it's also true that i don't like asking for things whether that's something as small as a cigarette...

I have had time to think about having Gender Reassignment Surgery and that is the next major step for me,I have already had my first referral a couple of months ago which i was really pleased with and knowing i am half way there is something very positive, although waiting for the phone call with news on whether i had been accepted for surgery or not seemed to take forever to come but when it did i couldn't stop smiling even now knowing it's sunk in i am still smiling and haven't found myself crying although i personally believe that will come once i have received my second referral in the next few months. The next 2 appointments at the Gender Service will be, 1 to go through my application with John for my GRS and then 2 should be my second referral appointment with the doctor and not sure who that will be once i have the second referral confirmed i can celebrate in one way or another with my friends who have supported me through my transition. I am very lucky and truly ...

This time last week it was Father's Day which for the last few years was never the best day of the year but this year was so different in many ways i wasn't sad but had a smile on my face remembering how my dad didn't like father's day and made his feelings very clear even recalling my dad telling me he didn't want any cards and told him i wouldn't buy him a card anymore as he didn't agree with it even though i stopped buying him a card i made sure i went to see him usually a couple of days before father's day,there is one thing i do miss about my dad not being here and that is the Saturday's we would spend together chatting about anything and everything and yes my dad knew everything am not even sure i told my dad i think he knew before i even said i word,my one regret has to be that he never got to see the real me and how much happier i am now. Writing a biography has been easier than i thought it would be but trying to remember everything has n...

It has now been 2 years since I started HRT and living full time as my true self, the last year has so far seen the biggest steps forward and have progressed even better than I had thought I would have done and have gone further than I could ever have dreamed of so here is all the news and updates on what has been happening since my last blog in February. I have had regular electrolysis treatments and am due to have my next one in just over a weeks time, i have had another 2 appointments at the gender service and one of the appointments was with Dr Cooke for my first referral for Gender Reassignment Surgery I now have to wait to see another doctor for my second referral which will be in the next 6 months, I have now been passed back to my GP who will take over and monitor my HRT prescriptions and blood tests every 6 months, my last set of blood tests were really pleasing knowing my testosterone was down to 0.6 after only being on spiro for 3 months John at the gender service is reall...

I remember talking with John at the gender service last year and learning that the next steps with being in care pathway would be laser hair treatments and electrolysis in Leeds which I had no idea what having electrolysis would be like and knew very little about what the treatments involved even having a sample patch test done made no difference and after having two sessions of laser hair treatments I was informed that my next appointment would be electrolysis and not to shave for 4 days,the first session went very well and managed to switch off enough to not feel too much discomfort with the treatment and was nicely surprised to learn I had done a full hour of treatment and now have had a further 3 full one hour sessions of treatments but now have to go without shaving for 5 days as not enough growth after 4 days my next appointment is in 10 days and will be having laser treatment for a change and that will be on my top lip chin and part of my neck,I have no idea how electrolysis wil...

Its been awhile since my last blog so here is an update on everything that has happened for me since my last blog. In August i got my official diagnosis from the gender service and a care plan with John as long as i keep doing the same things aand moving forward then everything will work out right,the hardest part for me has to be being patient as i know everything takes time and there are no shortcuts,thankfully i have already come further than even i thought i would have done in such a short time as its just gone 2 years since i came out to myself and then started to plan how to do the things i knew i had to do from legally changing my name to being honest with myself,my family and my friends.                                                                                     ...

I was going to write this blog very differently, it was going to start with a negative piece on a so called friend who has let me down over and over but as I was thinking about what to write it started to develop into something that I hadn't realized,my thoughts were turning the negatives into positives and the more I delved into so many things that have happened in the last few months there was a pattern that I started to see, I am a lot more positive than I ever thought I could or would be especially being so shy and having little confidence in my younger days to how I am now,yes I am confident and not as shy as I was and  I have come out of my shell over the last 18 months,I smile so much more than I have ever smiled and at times I have a cheeky glint in my eyes I have even had so many comments and compliments that lift a not so good day into a wonderful day the smallest compliment works wonders. My lovely friend Tamara shared my last blog and she was included in the last blog...

The last blog I wrote was just after starting at the gender identity service in Leeds and didn't really go into too much detail about anything that was discussed with me during my appointments so here is more details on my initial assessment at the gender identity service,that was more to do with all the information I had been given and trying hard to work through so much that writing about it was not possible at that's time but now I can finally put the details in this blog. My appointment was with a lovely man called Gerry and should have gone through everything with him in the hour we had but as we had chatted and had a few laughs Gerry had to make another appointment for 2 weeks later and he went through everything with me during that second appointment,there will be more laser hair removal treatment in the coming weeks and months,the hormone therapy will be overseen by the gender service and prescriptions will be issued through my GP which will be better for me as will h...

good afternoon ladies and gentleman and thank you for taking time to read my blogs To start with there is some very good news, Here goes I have now started at the gender service in Leeds i had my first assesment a couple of weeks ago and have another appointment on thursday this week, and i'm so excited to finaly be able to say i am now where i want to be having tried to wait as patiently as i can even when i get a letter through saying it will be 4 years  to be seen at the gender service. Even after my first appointment it still took me a few days for everything to sink in properly, and can honestly say that it was a very emotional day for me, Yes i couldn't stay in after my appointment and spent most of the day driving around keeping myself busy,the phone call i made to my lovely friend Kim was one of the hardest phone calls i have ever made but that's more to do with being very emotional and trying my best not to cry whilst on the phone was quite difficult but i mana...

At the beginning of March i wrote a blog trying to remember my first day at work as a woman,it was done in a humorous way and hopefully made people smile even laugh at some of the things that were in that blog,looking back to that very first day the one constant was how confident i was and everything was so natural and easy for me although the cold wind getting through my thick tights and making my legs feel even colder than it was is not the nicest feeling ever,but it didn't dampen my spirits or my confidence and loved every second of my first day my sister Janette telling me now i know how it feels to be a woman and making even the not so good feel right and natural. Yes that was just over a year ago and many things have changed since that first day,the biggest change has to be ME,the changes are not just in appearance or physical,there have been so many ups countless firsts even a few downs but i am still here and still fighting and will continue to be the strong wonderful w...

OMG  Is it only 5 days till my birthday,this year will be a very positive and happy time i am so looking forward to celebrating my birthday maybe that's simply because i am 50 or maybe cos i am finally happier than i have ever been before in my life now i am the woman i was born to be,and i am being my true self,yes its taken longer than some people but i finally got here and moving forward in life,i will not say every day is easy as there are days when i struggle with little things but i have learnt to do things differently,and i also know that i have some truly amazing friends who are with me every step of the way on my journey into womanhood,i keep receiving so many compliments and positive comments on many things which boosts my confidence and i do need to keep pushing myself and keep up all the good things i have done in the last 12 months. My friend Naseem complimented me on being helpful and wanting to help others whether that's through my blogs,biography or just off...

DAY............  Wednesday DATE..........   02 March 2016 TIME..........    04:20 AM  WHAT DOES THE O STAND FOR....... Oh My God Its Too Early,Can I Go Back To Bed Please PLACE........   Leeds West Yorkshire ANY NERVES......... No None At All WHY NOT NERVOUS...... I Am Not Sure,Nothing To Be Nervous About Really SERIOUSLY YOU MUST HAVE BEEN NERVOUS............ No I Wasn't At All  WEATHER..... Windy and Cold,Cold.Cold......... Its bloody Freezing. SEASON........  Feels Like Winter, Its Meant To Be Spring Ain't It ACTION.........  Changing Battery On Car  REASON........  Car Wouldn't Start and Needed To Get To Work APPEARANCE........ Hair Done,Make Up On Nice Skirt,Shirt Thick Tights,Boots And Coat DIFFICULTY...... Changing Battery With Hair Blowing In My Eyes,And Still Dark  NERVOUS........ For Some Reason NO  ON TIME........ YES Thankfully  FIRST DAY AT WORK AS A WOMAN....... Yes It Was N...

Guess what.....i went out drinking in Leeds friday night,yes i was flirting with other girls during the night but i also got to meet my friend Tamara Lea who's birthday we were celebrating that night,i was lucky to meet some of Tamara's friends who were out that night and it turned into a great night out even a boost to my confidence which has been growing lately thanks mainly to my friends like Tee,and Sean at the snooker centre who i have surprised in a nice positive way although now he thinks i am catty but i only do and say things in fun and try have a laugh with Sean just a shame he is a Leeds fan i just won't hold that against him as i can be surrounded by Leeds fans,at least i can boast as we have beaten them twice this year and more than happy being higher in the League than Leeds. Now my confidence is growing again it is making a difference to so many things,my sense of humour has come back and i am as cheeky as i ever was never in a nasty way and always done i...

Am not sure why people can be so hurtful but also why they believe it's acceptable,yet are more than happy with you when you are in front of them,that's a lesson i have learned and trying not to let it get to me that someone seems to think it's more than ok to be nasty,guess what it's their problem not mine. My confidence is growing most days and that is in some way down to the amazing friends i have who are restoring my faith in me,since the beginning of this year my best friend Kim said i should write sayings on my walls to remind of different things and to keep me strong in mind, body and soul,if truth be known i was starting to become a little lazy in certain ways not always doing make up or my hair on, regardless of how i looked i never stopped being or knowing i was a woman and was not doing anything different to every other woman who have days when they dress down,for me i love wearing make up and having my hair on and wearing skirts and dresses i am a true gir...

I have been co-writing a biography with one of my best friends Andrew Milner who has had some books published and knows how to tell a story alot better than me,Andrew is writing the story from my notes i have sent him but also from some memories we shared as we grew up together and spent many years very close in many ways. It has given me a chance to remember so many things that have happened during the last 49 years of my life that i can't change some very good even happy experiences and some the exact opposite,the one thing it has given me is the chance to go back in time and try to work out so many things and answer some of the questions i have been asked but also questions i have been asking myself. My sister Janette said something last year that i never knew and will try and quote verbatim what Janette said.... she said that she had known for years that i was Transgender and should have been a woman but it wasn't upto her to say anything and i would work everything out fo...

I have been debating for the last few days on what my next blog should be about and whether to start doing a more daily or weekly blog like a diary version but online,and will leave that up for discussion as for now personally will write as and when but as have been ill for most of the week and finally starting to feel like a human being again,i am now up for writing this blog. I have to say that as important as it is to hopefully change how people perceive anyone that is trans and living in the gender they should have been born in,i know from personal experience that i also should think or start to think differently and not just assume or expect the worst when i get so many surprises from so many different people who may only meet me the once,there are times when i need to change how i think instead of expecting the worst just go with it hold my head high and smile,i got in a lift a couple of weeks ago quite late and was after midnight and there was someone in the lift who i didn...